JanFishler

Author ~ Happiness Coach

Goal Setting for Over Achievers

By Leave a Comment

Goal Setting for Over Achievers

I’ll admit it. In addition to being a recovering Netflix Addict, I’m also an over achiever. I often set unattainable goals and then become frustrated for not achieving them. Here are some of the goals I’ve not attained: Losing 10 pounds in a month, making 20 marketing phone calls a day, going to one live networking event a week, making X amount of dollars a year, walking the El Camino Santiago by 2017.

About a week ago, I decided to publish a blog post every day. This means, rain or shine, sickness or health, holidays and birthdays, I will share 600-800 words of wisdom. Today is Day 5. So far so good, right? Only 360 posts to go!

I am a writer and a writing coach, so this over achiever’s goal is not unreasonable is it?  During my writing workshops I always advise people to get into a writing habit. Pick a time that works for you and write for at least 15 minutes every day. My time is early morning. 5:30 a.m. to be exact. That’s exactly what I’m doing. Following my own advice.

What makes the daily post even more reasonable, I rationalize, is that I’ve done it before. One year I posted 365 writing prompts—one for each day, but they were short (less than 100 words), and I wrote them in a couple of weekends.

So, what’s the problem?

I don’t need to gaze into a crystal ball to see that I’ve set myself up for failure.

This morning is garbage day. The trucks come clanging down my street at 5:00 a.m. I’m wide awake. The first thing I think about is coffee. The second thing is what will I post about today? And, can I get it done before I walk the dogs at 7:45 and pack for a two-day spa day in honor of a friend’s “big” birthday. We’re leaving at 10:30 a.m. I’m pretty sure I’ll get the post written, but uploaded with a photo….

Then there’s tomorrow’s post? No, I’m not bringing my laptop to a getaway. That’s ridiculous.  Day 6 probably won’t have a post either.  Aghhhhh!!!

Let’s be honest here. Regardless of our goals and the best of intentions, life can and will get in the way. The flow gets interrupted and the next thing you know, the goal is on the back burner soon to be forgotten. At least that’s how it often goes for me. It’s why I never lose 10 pounds, or make those marketing calls, or go to those events, or make six figures!

What’s the solution?

This is when I take a 15-minute break to tap into my subconscious—meditate and ask for guidance…. And get a second cup of coffee.

Here’s what my wiser self suggests:

  1. Set more realistic goals. Regarding the blog posts, aim for 3-5 posts a week. Only post on weekdays. Spend the weekend reading and researching content for the next week and having fun. Aim for quality over quantity. Enjoy the process.
  2. Have a compelling why. Why am I doing this? Good question! I like to write. I like sharing information. To walk the talk. What kind of coach would I be if I wasn’t writing every day? To see what happens when you consistently post on Linkedin. Are these reasons compelling enough to keep it going? Time will tell.
  3. Practice self-awareness and compassion. What is most important at this point in my life? The truth: I want to enjoy whatever I’m doing and share what I can. Beating myself up for self-imposed deadlines is no longer an option.

So, faithful readers, because my primary goal is to enjoy life, I’m giving myself permission to miss Day 6. And, I’m forgiving myself for all the goals I’ve missed in the past. I hope my insight into goal setting for over achievers helps you too.

 

Jan Fishler is an author, motivational speaker and writing coach.  You can learn more about her work at www.JanFishler.net and www.DontStopNow.us, the site of her latest book.

 

 

 

 

 

Try Writing Prompts — See Where They Take You

By Leave a Comment

Try Writing Prompts — See Where They Take You

I thought I’d start this month off by following a prompt from my book, Flex Your Writing Muscle—365 Writing Prompts, which is available on Amazon in paperback and in kindle. The prompts for June are based on The Book of Runes by Ralph Blum. My recommendation for all of the prompts is to pick one and write/type as quickly as you can for five minutes. If you find yourself lost in your words, then by all means continue. If not, close the book and move on to something more inspiring.

Don’t be surprised if the prompts jump-start your writing. A prompt could easily become your next blog post or the beginning of a new article or short story.

The prompt for June 1: What do you require for your wellbeing? I will admit, sometimes it’s easier to come up with these prompts than it is to answer them. Here goes…

Like many women,  my wellbeing requirements have changed over the years. What I required as a single person working in San Francisco changed when I became a parent, and continues to change as my adult children become more self-sufficient. As a single woman,  my wellbeing depended a lot on how my friendships were going, and getting through various ups and downs that came with navigating relationships. As a parent, my wellbeing is often tied into the health and happiness of my children. I want them to thrive, and when they hit a rough patch, it can become a difficult time for me too. As my adult children become more independent and self-sufficient, I can turn my attention to other things.

Two things that affect  my wellbeing are my health and my work. Fortunately, my health is better than that of most people my age. I like being strong and fit and spend about six hours a week lifting weights and taking a dance aerobics class at my local gym. Working out helps me focus and decreases stress. It’s something I’ve been doing for decades and I have no intention of ever stopping. Occasionally, I might take a break, but I always come back.

My wellbeing is also tied up in my work—whether I’m writing for myself or for others—and in being of service. Early in my career I vacillated between corporate gigs and the nonprofit sector. I needed money to pay off my student loans, but experienced a great deal of satisfaction in helping others. As a result, I often worked in the nonprofit world—writing grants, serving on a board of directors, and even producing a telethon. Today, I’m still on the board of a non-profit and I also write grants for a local organization. I volunteer because giving makes me feel good and enhances my overall wellbeing.

If I’m completely honest, there are other things that increase my wellbeing…I love a chilled glass of good Chardonnay, a thick juicy burger hot off the grill, hiking just about anywhere—even in the rain, walking with my dog, seeing a good movie in a theater, bag of large buttered popcorn in my lap, having lunch with a good friend, and dancing to a live Zydeco music.

When I look at the wellbeing I have in my life, I feel an enormous amount appreciation and gratitude and see a positive cycle that continues.

What brings you the peace, comfort, security, and happiness you associate with wellbeing? Take five minutes to answer that question and see where it takes you.

—-

Jan Fishler is the producer of the Path to Publication DVD series filmed at the Squaw Valley Community of Writers featuring Amy Tan, Janet Fitch, Mark Childress and other well-known authors, agents, and publishers. She is the author of Searching for Jane, Finding Myself (An Adoption Memoir) and Flex Your Writing Muscle – 365 Days of Writing Prompts. She writes articles for VietNow National Magazine and has a bi-monthly column, “Healthy Options” in The Union newspaper.

 

 

Getting Words to Flow – 3 Steps for Letting Go of Self-Judgment

By Leave a Comment

Getting Words to Flow – 3 Steps for Letting Go of Self-Judgment

I’ve made a commitment to blog at least twice a week to provide useful information to help people who write (that’s pretty much everyone who is in business). Getting concepts and ideas out of your head in a way that lets words easily flow on to the page is something we can all benefit from. One of the stumbling blocks for many of us is self-judgment. So often, our critical or negative thoughts about ourselves (and our ability to write) sabotage our efforts before we even begin. As a result, we set ourselves up for failure. We might have an absolutely brilliant idea for an article, blog post, or short story, but a negative thought about our ability prevents us from moving forward.

Many times it’s a voice from the past—a parent who didn’t think you were as creative or smart as your sibling, or a teacher who gave an essay or book report you wrote a low mark. Over time, these comments and criticisms chip away at our self-esteem, and eventually, we replace the word can with can’t. We begin to believe our thoughts and turn them into stories and a self-fulfilling prophecy about our capabilities.

Sometimes, it’s what is not said that harms us. Because actions speak louder than words, maybe nothing was said out loud about your efforts, but when you didn’t get the attention you so rightly deserved, you got the message that what you have to offer isn’t valued. This childhood programming can affect us throughout our lives, and prevent us from doing the work we are here to do.

We are all creative beings, yet many of us let judgment by others stand in our way. Writers see this most often when they are unable to fill a blank page or are thwarted by writer’s block. But it can happen to anyone regardless of their field. Often, self-judgment is what prevents you from making the money you deserve, living the life you desire, or getting the promotion you have wanted. It can be an obstacle from attracting the love you yearn for or living the life you crave.

The question then is what to do about it? The first step is to notice any time the judgment of others creeps into your consciousness. It might appear as a negative belief or an obvious negative thought (I’m not pretty, handsome, smart, or good enough to…) or it could be an irrational justification (Brent has worked here longer and is therefore better suited for the job than I am) even when you know that thought is not true.

The next step is to take a close look at the thought, trace it back to the source, and reconsider the message. Don’t be surprised to discover that you have been a victim of someone else’s projection or their overly critical nature. The intent is not to blame, but to observe the source. If you’re familiar with the work of Byron Katie, this is when you ask yourself, “Is it true?” Most of the time it is not.

Finally, take time to rewrite your history. Sit quietly and picture what should o have been said, or how the situation could have been handled, and replay the ideal scene in your mind until you feel the appreciation and recognition you rightly deserve.

—–

Jan Fishler is the producer of the Path to Publication DVD series filmed at the Squaw Valley Community of Writers featuring Amy Tan, Janet Fitch, Mark Childress and other well-known authors, agents, and publishers. She is the author of Searching for Jane, Finding Myself (An Adoption Memoir) and Flex Your Writing Muscle – 365 Days of Writing Prompts. She writes articles for VietNow National Magazine and has a bi-monthly column, “Healthy Options” in The Union newspaper.

 

Stay Motivated by Sticking With Your Goals and Focusing Your Attention

By Leave a Comment

Stay Motivated by Sticking with Your Goals and Focusing Your Attention

There are some mornings when I wake up completely inspired and motivated to write. Maybe I’ve had a dream about something I’ve been mulling around in my head, or I’ve read something that is truly inspirational and it propels me forward, or a writing prompt encourages my efforts. There are other days though, when I’m unclear about my direction, and in spite of having a deadline; I’m at a loss for words. It’s not like I have writers block or am stymied by the dreaded white page—that’s what occurs when you have an idea but just can’t seem to develop the content. What I’m talking about is lack of clarity and purpose, which is what happens when we lose sight of our goals, and consequently forget about the carefully crafted path we’ve developed to achieve them.

Recently, I’ve decided to shift my focus a bit. Instead of continuing to make a book I’ve been collaborating on for almost two years a priority, I’ve turned my attention back to my own work and to that of coaching others who want to write or who need help getting the word out about their services.  I have a novel I’d like to complete, writing workshops I like to teach (and therefore need to promote), and I have a Super Simple Social Media Marketing concept I’m excited to share. There is also the writing I do for clients (articles, blogs, newsletters, even grant writing).  Essentially, my day is filled with writing and promotion—at least it should be.

Because, my nature is taking on too much at once, over the years, I’ve developed a method to help me focus my attention. I’m sharing it here because you might want to come up with something similar. As my grandmother used to say, “Who knows, it might help!” If it does, please let me know.

I begin by making a list of my goals followed by how I’m going to achieve them, and why each is important to me. The how becomes my daily action plan, and the why is what keeps me motivated. It’s a simple list with ongoing activities that primarily revolve around my blog posts. The mere act of making a list like the one below not only sets my intention, but it’s also a tool for focusing my efforts.

  1. Continue building a platform as a writer—blog, post, tweet (This will help find a publisher for Cooking Up a Plan: Turn Your Novel Idea Into a Book)
  2. Promote my writing services—attend writing Meetups, groups and events, write and send marketing emails, write and distribute quarterly MailChimp newsletter (A lot of people are overwhelmed by having to write and I can easily help them)
  3. Promote my books—volunteer to speak about writing, blog, post, tweet (My most recent book, Flex Your Writing Muscle: 365 Writing Prompts is guaranteed to get the creative juices flowing and also help people learn more about themselves)
  4. Promote my Write YOUR Story and Free Yourself to Write workshops—set a date and location, distribute flyers, promote on Facebook and LinkedIn. (We all have important stories to tell and my makes it easy for everyone—even people who don’t usually write)
  5. Promote myself as a writing/marketing/PR coach—attend Meetups, groups and events, write and send marketing emails, write and distribute quarterly MailChimp newsletter. (I always feel better when I’m helping others)

—

Jan Fishler is the producer of the Path to Publication DVD series filmed at the Squaw Valley Community of Writers featuring Amy Tan, Janet Fitch, Mark Childress and other well-known authors, agents, and publishers. She is the author of Searching for Jane, Finding Myself (An Adoption Memoir) and Flex Your Writing Muscle – 365 Days of Writing Prompts. She writes articles for VietNow National Magazine and has a bi-monthly column, “Healthy Options” in The Union newspaper.

How to Write Anything Quickly and Painlessly

By Leave a Comment

How to Write Anything Quickly And Painlessly

Last month I presented a workshop at A Day for Women, an annual event put on by the local chapter of Soroptomist International. The topic of the one-hour presentation was, “How to Write Anything Quickly and Painlessly.” Last Wednesday, I made a similar presentation to Sierra Writers in Nevada City. During the workshop, participants learned tips, strategies, and suggestions to make writing easier and more fun. The information has been well received, so I thought I’d pass it on for those of you who….

…have a big project coming up at work with a looming deadline and you are stuck. Maybe you have a book inside of you, but can’t seem to get started, or you want to write a letter to the editor of your local newspaper, but are worried that it won’t come out “right.” Whether you write marketing collateral, sales letters, or white papers for business, want to write articles and blog entries faster, or you’re part of the 81% of the population who wants to write a book or eBook, this process will help you stop procrastinating and start writing.

Of course, during the workshop participants were able to practice the various tools and methods to see which worked best for them, but there’s enough here to get you started. In future posts I’ll get into more detail about the 10 Tools. If you give the process a try, don’t be surprised if you start developing content faster than you do now. With summer just around the corner, that means more time to spend at the beach!

How to Write Anything Quickly and Painlessly

  1. Be clear about your objective. Ask yourself the following questions: Who am I writing for? What is the purpose of this article, blog post, letter, report, or book? When do I have to have it done? When do I want to have it done? Where is it going to be distributed? Why is it important? How long do I want to take to complete it?
  1. Overcome resistance – 10 Tools

Believe you can do it: download Eliminate the Judge (you can get this mp3 for FREE at    http://www.janfishler.com),  Laugh and lighten up, Physical exercise, Whole body relaxation (I’m going to have to make a video to demonstrate this one),  Music and ambient sound, Affirmations: I enjoy writing. I write quickly. I am prolific, etc. Visualization & Guided Imagery – Feeling Good About Writing (to be recorded soon) Consciously connected breathing/meditation,  Automatic writing, 5-minute writing blasts.

  1. Get into the writing habit: Buy Flex Your Writing Muscle – 365 Days of Writing Prompts and start your day with a prompt. Write for 5 minutes and see where it takes you.
  1. Conduct research/be an investigative reporter (who, what, when, where, why, how).
  1. Set a timer for 15 minutes, FOCUS, and crank out a first draft.
  1. Ask yourself questions about your draft. Is it okay? Did I leave anything out? Where can I get additional information? Is the information understandable to the target audience? Is it in the right order? Is it readable? Is it interesting? Does it need graphics? How could it be better? Should I get input from others?
  1. Polish Your Draft. Do I have the inner resources and time to make it better? Who can I trust for feedback? Should I hire an editor? Can the information be repurposed?

—–

Jan Fishler is the producer of the Path to PublicationDVD series filmed at the Squaw Valley Community of Writers featuring Amy Tan, Janet Fitch, Mark Childress and other well-known authors, agents, and publishers. She is the author of Searching for Jane, Finding Myself (An Adoption Memoir) and Flex Your Writing Muscle – 365 Days of Writing Prompts. She writes articles for VietNow National Magazine and has a bi-monthly column, “Healthy Options” in The Union newspaper.