JanFishler

Author ~ Happiness Coach

I LOST MY KEYS – AGAIN!

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Dirty Alice on left

I LOST MY KEYS – AGAIN!

Last Thursday, I took Alice and Toby, the Golden Retrievers who are in my care (that’s another story), on a walk at the Gracie Ditch, a shaded path bordered on one side by the water district canal. For Goldens and Labs the place is dog heaven. Alice loves getting wet and then rolling in the dirt. She is one dirty girl!  We go on this three to five mile walk at least four times a week.

Here’s the routine. I have coffee, feed the dogs their breakfast, put on my boots, grab my pack, and by 7:30 we’re out the door. The dogs race to the car and jump in. Ten minutes later, we’re on the trail. Sometimes we meet up with friends and other times we go it alone. With all the in and out of the water and stopping to chat along the way, the walk takes about two hours.

Last Thursday it was just the three of us. We got back home around 9:30. The dogs were filthy, so I let them in to the back yard to dry off and I went around to the front to take off my boots and hang my pack and keys on a hook.

It’s a routine—something I do without thinking.

That afternoon I went to a movie with my friend Jane.  She drove so I didn’t take my keys—at least I don’t think I did. In case you’re wondering, the front door has a keypad, so no key required.   I didn’t need my car again until Friday morning. I was dressed and ready to go to the gym and I couldn’t find my keys.

Of course, I could take the spare, but that’s not the point. Certain the keys were on the hook, I couldn’t believe they were missing. Instead of going to the gym, I decided I’d tear the house apart until I found them. They have to be here. I drove the car home!

Because I’m essentially a minimalist, my house is NOT full of unnecessary stuff. Finding things should be fast and easy.

I searched my purse, my pack, the cloth grocery bags that hung on the hook, the couch, under the pillows, under the couch, the kitchen cupboards and drawers, the fridge and the freezer. Thinking that I might have dementia I even looked in the toaster oven! From there I searched my office. I moved my desk, file cabinets and bookshelves.  Both bathrooms and the bedroom were thoroughly searched. The bed was stripped and moved it to the other side of the room. Close hamper was thoroughly searched. I checked pockets. I emptied every drawer.

During my search I found five tennis balls and dust bunnies that were hiding under the bed but no keys.

Deja vu

Rewind twelve years. I returned from a business trip. Unpacked the car and the keys disappeared only to be found ten years later. While they were missing, I was certain a poltergeist lived in the house.  Turned out, they fell next to the car in leaves and duff and spent the next ten years right where I dropped them.  Oh no! Not again.

I went outside and searched the car—the glove box, under the seats, the trunk. I hunted around the car. And, I searched the garage. Nada. Nothing.

Alice!

If it’s nailed down, Alice will steal it. She loves playing “you can’t catch me.” It occurred to me that perhaps I’d left the keys on the bench where I take off my boots and that Alice grabbed them when I wasn’t looking, took them outside and dropped them somewhere in the back yard. I spent the next several hours combing half an acre to no avail. Still no keys.

I had two “psychic” friends come over and help me look. Still nothing. Sigh. I burned sage. I talked to my subconscious….where are my damn keys?

I gave up. I let it go.

I’m a firm believer that when annoying, frustrating, or bad things happen there’s a lesson to be learned.

What did I learn?

It wouldn’t hurt to be a bit more mindful—especially when it comes to routines and those things I do on auto pilot.

Although it’s very tempting to blame Alice. She’s looking very guilty.

 

Jan Fishler is an author, motivational speaker and writing coach.  You can learn more about her work at www.JanFishler.net and www.DontStopNow.us, the site of her latest book.

 

 

 

 

Have You Done Enough?

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Have You Done Enough?

This morning I woke up thinking about accomplishments—how much I’ve done during the time I’ve been roaming the earth and how compelled I feel to do more.

Our lives are so busy and we’re so distracted that we rarely stop to take stock of how far we’ve come. In our never-ending quest to be better, to be the best, to succeed against all odds, we don’t think about how much we’ve learned, how much we’ve grown, or how we’ve helped our friends, family and community.

To bring attention to the over-doing plight many of us share, I thought I’d challenge you with an awareness exercise.

Here’s the exercise for today:

Set a timer for 15 minutes and write down every accomplishment that comes to mind. I’m not talking about major achievements or huge successes—although they certain count. I’m talking about the little things too like learning to walk, talk, ride a bike, dress yourself, and tie your shoes. Go back to your early childhood and work your way to the present. Write quickly and don’t give what comes up a lot of thought.

When the timer goes off, read through your list. Keep it handy for the next few days and keep adding to it. Notice whether your list includes a healthy balance between personal and professional successes. If not, what can you do to gain more equilibrium?

My experience

As I did this exercise (my list is at the end of this article), I was amazed by the memories that popped up. And the many things I did without giving myself credit, without appreciating how far I’ve come. I was also stunned by the randomness of the list, how defining moments were co-mingled with the mundane.

After you’re done

Congratulate yourself for being an amazing human. Take some time today and during the week to let all that you’ve done sink in. Appreciate who you are and regardless of what you were told as a child about yourself and others, recognize similarities we all share as well as the abilities that make us unique.

Yes, you’ve done enough, but that doesn’t mean you need to stop or even slow down. It means that amidst this hectic life, you can also give yourself permission to breathe and to be, rather than constantly do and achieve. Are you so busy (and important) that you can’t go for a walk, help you kids with their homework or spend a weekend camping? Okay, so you don’t like camping, but hopefully, you get the point.

No matter how its been or how it is, we all have choices about how we spend our time. I hope your list of accomplishments helps realize that there is time for following your passion and bringing more love and joy into your life.

My Accomplishments (as they popped up):

Learning to walk, talk, read, ride a bike, ice skate, color in the lines, tie my shoes, play the piano, speak some Spanish and French. Graduating from middle school, high school, and college. Getting a master’s degree, driving from Ohio to California by myself, learning to ski, swim and scuba dive, and cook. Being one of the first women to work in the video industry, a career as a corporate scriptwriter and video producer, writing at least 100 video scripts, producing videos for many nonprofit and for profit organizations. Training my dogs, finding my birth family, writing a memoir about my search, getting married, staying married,  having and raising kids, getting my spouse VA benefits, buying a house, writing articles about Post Traumatic Stress Disorder for a national magazine.

Coordinating tours to Africa and India, back packing through Europe after college, back packing through the Sierra Nevada Mountains, being with my parents during the end of their life, sitting with my cousin at the end of his life, producing a telethon for United Cerebral Palsy, becoming a motivational speaker, getting our daughter the medical help she needed to treat Lyme Disease, emotionally and financially supporting our son on his journey to become a professional magician, being an advocate for both of my children while they were growing up. Making donations to charity, being a good friend, forgiving myself for mistakes, working on healing my adoption issues, being a life-long learner, walking 5 miles each day, lifting weights, dancing.

 

Jan Fishler is an author, motivational speaker and writing coach.  You can learn more about her work at www.JanFishler.net and www.DontStopNow.us, the site of her latest book.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Goal Setting for Over Achievers

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Goal Setting for Over Achievers

I’ll admit it. In addition to being a recovering Netflix Addict, I’m also an over achiever. I often set unattainable goals and then become frustrated for not achieving them. Here are some of the goals I’ve not attained: Losing 10 pounds in a month, making 20 marketing phone calls a day, going to one live networking event a week, making X amount of dollars a year, walking the El Camino Santiago by 2017.

About a week ago, I decided to publish a blog post every day. This means, rain or shine, sickness or health, holidays and birthdays, I will share 600-800 words of wisdom. Today is Day 5. So far so good, right? Only 360 posts to go!

I am a writer and a writing coach, so this over achiever’s goal is not unreasonable is it?  During my writing workshops I always advise people to get into a writing habit. Pick a time that works for you and write for at least 15 minutes every day. My time is early morning. 5:30 a.m. to be exact. That’s exactly what I’m doing. Following my own advice.

What makes the daily post even more reasonable, I rationalize, is that I’ve done it before. One year I posted 365 writing prompts—one for each day, but they were short (less than 100 words), and I wrote them in a couple of weekends.

So, what’s the problem?

I don’t need to gaze into a crystal ball to see that I’ve set myself up for failure.

This morning is garbage day. The trucks come clanging down my street at 5:00 a.m. I’m wide awake. The first thing I think about is coffee. The second thing is what will I post about today? And, can I get it done before I walk the dogs at 7:45 and pack for a two-day spa day in honor of a friend’s “big” birthday. We’re leaving at 10:30 a.m. I’m pretty sure I’ll get the post written, but uploaded with a photo….

Then there’s tomorrow’s post? No, I’m not bringing my laptop to a getaway. That’s ridiculous.  Day 6 probably won’t have a post either.  Aghhhhh!!!

Let’s be honest here. Regardless of our goals and the best of intentions, life can and will get in the way. The flow gets interrupted and the next thing you know, the goal is on the back burner soon to be forgotten. At least that’s how it often goes for me. It’s why I never lose 10 pounds, or make those marketing calls, or go to those events, or make six figures!

What’s the solution?

This is when I take a 15-minute break to tap into my subconscious—meditate and ask for guidance…. And get a second cup of coffee.

Here’s what my wiser self suggests:

  1. Set more realistic goals. Regarding the blog posts, aim for 3-5 posts a week. Only post on weekdays. Spend the weekend reading and researching content for the next week and having fun. Aim for quality over quantity. Enjoy the process.
  2. Have a compelling why. Why am I doing this? Good question! I like to write. I like sharing information. To walk the talk. What kind of coach would I be if I wasn’t writing every day? To see what happens when you consistently post on Linkedin. Are these reasons compelling enough to keep it going? Time will tell.
  3. Practice self-awareness and compassion. What is most important at this point in my life? The truth: I want to enjoy whatever I’m doing and share what I can. Beating myself up for self-imposed deadlines is no longer an option.

So, faithful readers, because my primary goal is to enjoy life, I’m giving myself permission to miss Day 6. And, I’m forgiving myself for all the goals I’ve missed in the past. I hope my insight into goal setting for over achievers helps you too.

 

Jan Fishler is an author, motivational speaker and writing coach.  You can learn more about her work at www.JanFishler.net and www.DontStopNow.us, the site of her latest book.

 

 

 

 

 

Your Invitation to the Ignited Women Weekend Retreat

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Beth Nelson and Cassie with Jan Fishler, Alice and Toby

Your Invitation to the Ignited Women Weekend Retreat

Several months ago, my friend Beth and I went to a three-day women’s workshop in Santa Cruz. It was held at a large venue on the Boardwalk. About 500 women attended. While some women enjoy large crowds, I thought the event, which had grown exponentially over the past years, was just too big. Instead of being an opportunity to network and connect, it felt impersonal.

Beth and I cut out a day early and spent the remainder of the day hiking at the Land of Medicine Buddha. Amidst the redwood trees and beauty of nature, Beth and I talked about the kind of retreat we would have liked to attend.

A few years back, Beth left her corporate job as a Program Manager to become a yoga instructor, meditation teach, and founder of Ignited Women. Her business helps midlife women find clarity and renewed purpose. My recent book, Don’t Stop Now: Making the Most of the Rest of Your Life,  targets the same demographic, so we always have a lot to talk about.

The Perfect Weekend

We walked and talked and visualized our perfect weekend… Small and intimate for sure. No more than 12-15 women. In a beautiful, inspiring location, somewhere in nature. With walking trails. And good, organic food. A pool and sauna. Comfortable accommodations. Not too expensive. Yoga and meditation. Writing or journaling with an art project. Time to talk and connect, really get to know other women. Massage. Free time to rest and unwind.

By the time we got back to the car, it was decided. We would host a weekend retreat for mid-life women. We just needed to find the right venue. After a week of researching venues in the Santa Cruz area, we came  full circle. Nothing was as good as the Land of Medicine Buddha. Sigh. Sometimes it takes time to see the obvious!

About Team Beth and Jan

Beth and I are a unique team. She’s 55 with long, auburn hair. I just turned 70 and have a short, white bob. We met about a year ago at a business development event and realized that we had a lot in common. She teaches yoga. I love doing yoga. She teaches meditation. I meditate. Her target market is mid-life women. I love talking to groups of women who are 50+ about making the most of the rest of your life. Beth is a triathlete. I’m a gym rat. In other words, we both like to move. And, we both love dogs!

Last week, Beth and I developed the detailed schedule for the weekend, which includes: Walking the 8 Verses path, contemplation, free time to use the pool and sauna, delicious vegetarian meals guided visualization, meditation, yoga and Qigong as well as writing  to tap into the deep unconscious. There’s also free time for those who want to sign up for a massage. You can see the complete schedule HERE.

Most importantly, Beth is thoughtful, sincere, fully committed to her life’s work and dedicated to supporting women on their journey. I’m all that with a slightly irreverent twist. We’re both seekers—committed to making the second half of life as good as it can possibly be. That includes our commitment to making the Ignited Women Weekend Retreat as good as it can possibly get.

Take Action and Join Us

If spending the weekend at the Land of Medicine Buddha calls to you, then register HERE.

Want to know more? Check out the video of Beth and I talking about the retreat.

 

Jan Fishler is an author, motivational speaker and writing coach.  You can learn more about her work at www.JanFishler.net and www.DontStopNow.us, the site of her latest book.

Manage Your No Good, Very Bad Day with the Emotional Guidance Scale

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Manage Your No Good, Very Bad Day with the Emotional Guidance Scale

If you have children or spend time around them, you’ve probably read or at least heard of the book, “Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day.” Written in 1972 by Judith Vorst and illustrated by Ray Cruz, the first sentence on the back cover explains it all: “Alexander knew it was going to be a terrible day when he woke up with gum in his hair. And it got worse…”

As things get worse for the seven-year-old Alexander, his solution is moving to Australia. Why Australia? The reader never knows for sure, but it’s probably as far away from his problems as he can imagine. We’ve all been there, right?

It’s Always Something

There’s no getting around it. Life is full of glitches and issues. It’s part of the human condition. For those of you old enough to remember the early days of Saturday Night Live, you’ll also remember this quote by Gilda Radner’s character Roseannadanna, “If it’s not one thing, it’s another. It’s always something.”

Because problems are inevitable, wouldn’t it be great to find a simple and effective way to change our state of mind without having to move to Australia?

The Emotional Guidance Scale

Enter the Emotional Guidance Scale, which was developed (okay I’ll show my woo-woo… channeled by Abraham-Hicks) to help people move towards joy—a great place to land.  Unfortunately, for many people the state of joy can be illusive and even unobtainable.

The moment I saw the scale, something shifted inside of me. If you go to the bottom of this article, you’ll see an image of the scale that’s drawn as two spirals, the upward and the downward.

The upward spiral consists of the 7 best emotional states: joy, passion, enthusiasm, belief, optimism, hopefulness and contentment. The downward spiral contains 15 negative emotions. The worst being fear, grief, despair and powerlessness and the best of the worst being boredom and frustration.

How it Works

The idea is to figure out where you are currently and move up the scale. For example, let’s say you’re angry at your boss because you didn’t get the raise you were expecting. Of course, your anger (number 17 on the downward spiral) can be justified, but that state of mind probably won’t serve you. Getting to a state Joy (and Love) at the top of the scale would require a quantum leap; however, moving up a few notches to Disappointment (number 12) is more reasonable and quite possible.

The Goal

The goal is to spend as much time in the upward spiral as you can. Here’s how to move up the scale when some outside force or your own thoughts effect you.

  1. Realize you’ve been triggered. Triggers are situations like being in the slow line at the grocery store…again, bad drivers, people talking on cell phones at the gym, finance charges on your credit card or worrying about an upcoming project deadline)
  2. Look at the Scale and figure out where you are.
  3. Look at the Scale and figure out where you would like to be.
  4. Choose the better state.

There is no rule that says you must stay in a negative state for any specific amount of time. For example, if feel jealous or overwhelmed go ahead and feel the intensity of the emotion, but only for a minute or so. Then decide to pick a better state of mind. It’s really that simple. Of course, if you’re really worked up, before choosing a better state, try taking two or three slow deep breaths. If that doesn’t work, do some exercise—walk around the block or do a few jumping jacks.

Of course, you could always go to Australia.

 

Jan Fishler is an author, motivational speaker and writing coach.  You can learn more about her work at www.JanFishler.net and www.DontStopNow.us, the site of her latest book.

The Emotional Guidance Scale https://www.creatingbeyond.com/energy-clearings/emotional-guidance-scale-abraham-hicks

 

Changing Habits with Insight Timer

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Changing Habits with Insight Timer

I have a confession to make. I’m a binge-watcher of Netflix. Well, until recently, I was a binge-watcher. Now, I guess you’d say I’m in recovery.

It started the summer I was supposed to be writing a book but instead was secretly binge-watching the entire series of Lost. From there I moved on to Shameless, Queer Eye, Outlander, The Girlfriends Guide to Divorce, and others I can’t think of right now. While I would joke about binge-watching with my girlfriends (I need to go to NA—Netflix Anonymous), none of them really knew the extent of my addiction.

Here’s how it would go…

I’d get up early, get my work done as quickly as possible, have an early dinner and settle into the couch for a good three hours (sometimes more) of the series du jour. I’ll admit it: I was ashamed of my behavior, but like any addict, I couldn’t stop.  I rationalized. What else was I going to do in the evening? (read, go out with friends) It’s not like I’m gambling away the family fortune or buying hundreds of pairs of shoes. (true) Was my Netflix addiction really getting in the way of my life? (sort of). Was I willing to change? (maybe) Where could I get help? (I had no idea).

One day I decided to quit cold turkey. Instead of turning on Netflix, I picked up Becoming Michele Obama’s book and spent the evening on the couch reading, getting to know about this remarkable woman’s life. Since it was the weekend, I continued reading until I finished the book. I’ll give Michele Obama partial credit for my recovery.

I know you’re thinking…Oh, she just replaced binge-watching with binge-reading. Yes and no. I do read much more now—nonfiction mostly because I’m really into learning new things and making up for the time I lost on the couch.

But the real credit goes to my friend Jane who introduced me to Insight Timer, a meditation app, which I’ve grown to love. The app has been a life-changer—mostly because of the courses you can take (more on that in a bit).

Let me back up…

For the record, I’ve been meditating off and on ever since I read Autobiography of a Yogi in the late 80s and began following the methods taught by Self Realization Fellowship. The lessons would arrive weekly and I was a faithful devote except for the times life got in the way (kids, project deadlines, Netflix…).  As recently as 2015 I attended a Vipassana 10-day silent meditation retreat. But then I fell off the wagon and Netflix filled my schedule.

Insight Timer has been a lifesaver. As the app implies, you can just set a timer for a specific duration, but you can also take 10 and 30 day courses from a variety of teachers on a myriad of topics related to becoming a more evolved human. And given the state of the world, this type of insight is not simply helpful, it’s necessary—especially if you’re a news junkie!

Jane got me started with a guided meditation she had been listening to, but I quickly discovered a course and a talk that provided insight and clarity on my binging. Hugh Byrne’s 10-day course, How to Change Unwanted Habits, explained, “how mindfulness is a key to habit change because it brings into awareness behaviors and thought patterns that have become unconscious and automatic.” And a 52-minute talk by Tara Brach, Healing Addiction: De-Conditioning the Hungry Ghosts, “examines the suffering that arises when due to unmet needs for love ad safety, our desire becomes narrowed and fixated on substitute gratifications.” Okay, I get it!

Insight Timer helps me sleep

The app also has an entire section devoted to helping people sleep. Last night I tried the 34-minute Peaceful Sleep Meditation. It must have been great because I fell asleep about 5 minutes into it and didn’t wake up until morning.

In addition to using the app at night to help me sleep, I also spend about 30 minutes in the morning listening to a daily course. I just finished, Manifest Your Ultimate Goals & Dreams by Kenneth Soares which “guides you on a journey to take control of your life and destiny” in 14 minutes a day. I just began “Knowing Your Soul’s True Purpose” by Kim Newing who has a fabulous Australian accent. Although I’m pretty sure I know what I’m on earth to do, why not gain additional insight?

It’s been  40 days (yes, it keeps track) since I began using the app and here’s what’s changed:

I’m sleeping through the night (a miracle at best). Not once have I been  tempted to check out Netflix. I’m reading more, and best of all I’m doing more things that I love: writing every day, going out to the movies (once or twice a week), getting together with family and friends, and I’m meditating again.  Every. Day!

 

Jan Fishler is an author, motivational speaker and writing coach. You can learn more about her at janfishler.net and dontstopnow.us.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Weeding the Garden, Cleaning My Office, and Finding Inspiration from Marie Kondo

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Weeding the Garden, Cleaning My Office, and Finding Inspiration from Marie Kondo

Let me begin by saying that I’m not a gardener. That job belongs to my husband who spends as much time as possible in the yard. But gardens and weeds are a great metaphor for the junk we all collect. I know, it’s never anyone’s intention to end up with a drawer or basket full of useless stuff. It just happens over time. For example, here’s what’s in the drawer that’s closest to my computer desk: Pens, pencils, crayons, paperclips, power cords, thumb drives, sticky notes, pennies, nickels, dimes, gum, gum wrappers, hard candy, hard candy wrappers, old check books and check registers, glitter, double-sided sticky tape, extra headsets, stamps, CDs, and product warranties. I even found a dried-up bottle of white out!

Why am I bringing this up?

This past summer, inspired by Marie Kondo, I decided to go through every cabinet and closet in my house and weed out the non-essentials—everything that doesn’t “spark joy” or have a use. Fortunately, my house isn’t that big and I’m not much of a collector, but the process has been enlightening because it’s brought up interesting and unexpected feelings.

My mother, who was a child during the depression, saved everything. We even reused paper napkins! After she died, I tossed out hundreds of plastic cottage cheese containers, forks, knives, and spoons and an equal number of those aluminum containers from TV dinners. For me, throwing those things away was liberating, but I also felt guilty. My logical mind and my subconscious programming were in conflict. Truth be told, if she weren’t already dead, seeing me toss all those useful items would have killed my mother!

Meanwhile, back at the current ranch…some drawers, cupboards and closets were easier to deal with than others. Getting rid of clothes from my bedroom closet was a piece of cake. I recruited my fashionista friend to help me. If it didn’t fit, was out of date, or just plain ugly, it went to the Goodwill pile. Cleaning out the fridge was a no-brainer—anything out of date went into the compost bin or the trash. Kitchen cabinets were also simple. I pulled everything out—dishes, pots and pans, and glasses—and separated items into keep and items to donate. The donate pile disappeared that day. The medicine chest, which only stocked cold meds and cough syrup, was also easy.

My office was the real challenge.

Do I really need my grandfather’s gold letter opener (yes), or the orange stapler my friend gave me when I started my own business in 1984 (absolutely), or 5 headsets (maybe)? What about the envelop full of old stamps (they’re worth something) or the miscellaneous power cords (I might need them)? What about all those books!

How long do I need to keep tax records? What about the floppy discs from the Mac computer I bought 34 years ago? No, I don’t still have the computer. And what about the file cabinets full of drafts, client projects, and medical and shot records for kids that are now adults?

Amidst confusion and despair, with the insight of a Buddhist Monk, the solution arrived. I packed everything I couldn’t part with and anything I thought I should keep into a three 4-drawer, ugly, beige, metal file cabinets and squeezed them into the corner of the garage. Out of sight for now but there just in case.

Marie Kondo would most definitely approve of my office. However, the weeds growing in the file cabinet and the rest of the garage…well, that’s another story.

So, what did I learn?

When it comes to clearing out personal and household items, I’m a pro. When it comes to business, I decided to error on the side of caution. Don’t get me wrong, I fully intend to eventually (one rainy day far into the future when I’m the last woman on earth) go through those file cabinets.

Jan Fishler is an author, motivational speaker and writing coach. You can learn more about her at janfishler.net and dontstopnow.us.

 

 

 

 

 

Why I Love Weekend Retreats and Workshops

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Why I Love Weekend Retreats and Workshops

(even the up-sell)

A few years back I decided to take the plunge and really learn about internet marketing. Specifically, I wanted to discover tips, tricks, and strategies to help me update my marketing skills. After reading several books on the subject, I realized I needed more support. That’s when I decided to attend a monthly business marketing meetup hosted by a local expert.

My first experience

The meetup consisted of a luncheon at a moderately priced restaurant and featured two or more speakers on various topics related to marketing. That’s when I learned about and took advantage of the up-sell–the pitch at the end where you try out and buy the experts upcoming services. I said yes to a FREE call to learn how the expert could help my business succeed. As a result,  I paid $197 for my very first weekend workshop event experience.

Because the event was only an hour or so from my home, I opted to commute. In  hindsight was a mistake because I missed out on the evening gatherings. However, during the day, I met some fascinating people and I learned a lot! There was an ongoing Power Point presentation, a detailed workbook, handouts, exercises, and Q&A. Essentially there was an overwhelming amount of information. So much information that if you didn’t have previous knowledge on the topic you’d be completely overwhelmed.

But that’s the point. The expert either overwhelms you with content or gives you almost everything you need so that you jump at chance to join the program that will make you more successful than you ever imagined possible.

All you have to do is cough up 10-15-20 thousand dollars or more. Of course, credit cards are good—especially the ones with no interest for the first 18 months.  Because,  if you do everything the expert says, you will make enough money to pay off the card before interest begins to accrue. One can only hope!

If you detect a bit of sarcasm, you’re right. Fortunately, I’m one of those people who always sleeps on any big decision, so I didn’t bite—at least not for the big up-sell.

But there is an art to the up-sell and when it’s done right, it is very tempting.

My second experience

Because I like learning new things and love to network, this weekend workshop experience was intriguing. While I didn’t sign up for the expert’s up-sell, I did sign up for a weekend workshop in Santa Cruz (pitched by a guest presenter). And one after that in Arizona (pitched by a different guest presenter). Followed by several online challenges. In October I’m headed to another weekend workshop in San Diego. This one is hosted by a woman who did pay the big bucks, followed all of the expert advice, and launched a very profitable business.

Here’s what I’ve learned: With the right mindset, these weekend workshops and retreats are a lot of fun and they provide a very affordable way to have a mini vacation as well as an opportunity to learn something new on a particular topic. They are perfect if you’re an introvert, who knows she needs to get out and meet new people. Because most of the events have practice exercises and networking opportunities, it’s impossible to not meet someone new. It’s also likely that you’ll also meet like-minded, smart people who want to improve some aspect of their business or themselves.

If your job is no longer challenging or interesting, a weekend retreat or workshop is a chance to check out or try something new and different. If you’re business is thriving, why not get away, have fun, enhance your skill set or knowledge base, and create a tax deduction in the process?

Not all retreats are related to business.  My friend Beth Nelson and I are hosting one specifically for women 45+ who want to rest, reflect and reset. To find out more,  check out Ignited Women Weekend Retreat Oct. 25-27, 2019 for Women 45+ at Land of Medicine Buddha in Soquel, CA. Join us for a weekend to rest, reflect, and reset with yoga, meditation, walking, writing and more

–with no big up-sell!

Writing & the Self-Publishing Life

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Don't Stop Book

Don’t Stop Now is Available on Amazon

The Writing & Self-Publishing Life

Writing a book is rewarding. I love the time spent alone coming up with the idea, creating an outline, and letting the content flow. During my morning meditation, I enjoy imaging the finished product–the color of the cover, the type face, the back cover copy, who will be reading it, and how they will feel afterwards. What I love most is seeing the finished product.  I also love the idea of being an Indie author, figuring out the self-publishing process and knowing that the fate of my book is entirely in my hands.

Being an independent author is an enormous challenge.

There is so much information available on how to self-publish your book that it’s easy to become overwhelmed and do nothing. How do I know this?  When I self-published my first book, Searching for Jane, Finding Myself (An Adoption Memoir) in 2010., I read everything about self-publishing that I could get my hands on. As a result, I drove myself crazy thinking I had to do it all.

Choose marketing options that suite your personality

What I didn’t realize was the importance of choosing marketing options that suite your personality. For example, if you don’t like public speaking, don’t do it. No, you don’t have to have a presence on all social media or any for that matter.  Blogging isn’t for everyone and neither is becoming an Amazon bestselling author, or running a contest, or starting a podcast.

Going the Indie route also isn’t for everyone. It requires creativity and an entrepreneurial spirit, or the funds to hire professionals who can do it for you.  A word of caution: be sure to carefully research options and find a reputable publishing company (more about that in another post).

Don’t Stop Now: Making the Most of the Rest of Your Life 

I’ve spent the past year co-authoring a book, Don’t Stop Now: Making the Most of the Rest of Your Life. It’s for women 50+ who want to see how far they’ve come and determine where else they want to go. It’s finished and uploaded to Amazon.  My co-author, Elle Gianforte,  and I decided to independently publish the book. Why?  We have all the skills required to get the word out to our target marketing. And, we’ve  gotten really clear about what we are willing to do to publish the book. And, it’s not all that complicated.

Here’s our plan:

PRIOR TO PUBLICATION:

  1. Create a great website: www.dontstopnow.us  Done!
  2. Create a DontStopNow Facebook page. Done!
  3. Write and post several blogs on topics related to our book. Invite guest bloggers. Done!
  4. Order ISBN number and Bar Code: Done!
  5. Hire a professional book designer: Patty Arnold, Menagerie Design and Publishing. Done!
  6. Hire a professional proof reader (There is no way you can do this yourself): Kit Bailey.Done!
  7. Find a company offering Print On Demand. We worked with Create Space. Done!
  8. Upload book to Amazon. Done!
  9. Revise Author Page. Done!
  10. Go back to book designer and get a Kindle version of the book. Almost done!
  11. Pick a date for a book launch: October 21 — coming soon!

AFTER PUBLICATION

  1. Host a publication launch party — with wine, food, and a discount price on books.
  2. Use Facebook, personal email, and handouts to invite local people to the party.
  3. After the party, send emails to everyone we know with a link to buy the book.
  4. Send follow-up emails to anyone who buys the book asking for a review.
  5. Send a press release to our local newspaper.
  6. Offer to speak at meetings and events where we can sell books.
  7. Promote the book to appropriate podcasters and radio producers.
  8. Contact independent book stores in surrounding areas.
  9. Beginning in January 2019, host a monthly Zoom call on topics covered in the book.
  10. Conduct 3 month, 6 month, and 9 month reviews and adjust our marketing strategy as needed.

Tip:

If you have a book inside you — stop talking about it and  just write it! If you’ve written a book and have the desire to publish it independently, stick with marketing strategies that you’ll enjoy.

 

Jan Fishler, MA, is the co-author of a new book, Don’t Stop Now, Making the Most of the Rest of Your Life (DontStopNow.us). She is also the author of Searching for Jane, Finding Myself (An Adoption Memoir), and has written several articles about alternative health and PTSD. You can learn more about Jan at www.JanFishler.net.

Onward and Upward

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The last 12 months disappeared. One day I was working on a book and the next day my volunteer efforts at a local public access television station turned into a full-time gig without compensation. Call me crazy, but it took me 9 months to come to my senses, i.e. realize that my good deeds were futile and it was time to walk away from what started as a desire to make a contribution, and became a thankless series of tasks. I thought I could save the day with my 25-years of experience as a writer/producer but the hole was deep and money was scarce.

As a good friend of mine always says when times are tough, “Onward and upward, then.” My first thought was to get back to my blog. Imagine my surprise when my site was gone. Apparently, I’d miss the deadline (by several months) to renew my domain. In spite of wanting to scream, I convinced myself to not panic. In a flashback, I recalled the system bomb that made a book disappear back in 1984. I was working on my first computer and didn’t know about backing up. Boy, did I learn that lesson in a hurry. That time I did panic, but I also learned that rewriting is faster and often better than a previous draft. At least that’s what I told myself to keep from slashing my wrists. Then, just in case all was lost, I convinced myself that maybe it was time for me to do something else like become a professional chef or a dog walker–something that had nothing to do with technology.

This time, because I’m older (ugh) and wiser (at least about some things), I called my friend Evelyn who built my previous site. As luck would have it, she had a backup from last March so I didn’t have to reinvent the wheel. I purchased a new domain (my old one would cost me $300 dollars — highway robbery but that’s another story) and I’m now .net rather than .com. Evelyn installed a new theme, which is still being tweaked (is a website ever done?) Most importantly, I have visions of completing a book I was writing “before my venture down the public access rabbit hole” and of showing other writers and content experts how to get their ideas on to the page.

Today’s Writing Tip: (Don’t volunteer — Write your book)