JanFishler

Author ~ Happiness Coach

Why I Write

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Why I Write

Writing is the one thing I do simply because I love it. I can’t help myself. Writing grounds me and helps me find my center, especially when I’m tired, emotionally drained, or preoccupied with the “should and musts” that constantly seem to present themselves. Without writing I would be as wilted as the tomatoes I forgot to water on more than one occasion this summer.

Unlike some writers, who stick with one project until it’s completed, it’s not uncommon for me to tackle several writing projects at once. Take the past few months for example. Since I haven’t been blogging, some people assumed that I haven’t been writing, but nothing could be further from the truth. In the past three months, I’ve revised 100 Tips & Prompts, started writing fiction, have been collaborating on a non-fiction book, developed a new workshop, and have been writing two 500 word blog posts a week for a client. No wonder I forget to water the tomatoes from time to time!

The non-fiction collaboration—Just Plan It!—is a small book designed to help writers plan their fiction. We were hoping to have a release in late September for this year’s National Novel Writing Month—when thousands of people actually commit to writing 60,000 words during November, but the editing is taking longer than expected so publication might have to wait until 2014.

The fiction is on its way to becoming a novel. Set in the 1940s, it’s about three generations of women, some more successful than others, in getting what they want. The main characters are loosely based on my birth mother, her mother, and her grandmother. I say loosely because I know so very little about them, and am having a great time making things up. Because I’m fairly new to fiction writing, I’ve joined a fiction writing group. We meet every other Monday evening and the feedback I’ve been getting has been incredibly helpful.

The workshop, Free Yourself to Write, a collaboration with another writer, is designed to help writers tap into their right brain and make writing—regardless of the content—quick, easy and fun. We’ll offer it locally a few times and then take it on the road. During the half day workshop, writers will learn 10 tools that we have used to avoid writers block and keep the words flowing.

Because I’ve gotten such good feedback on my memoir-writing workshops, when I’m not writing I’ve been marketing them, and soon I’ll be having workshops in various surrounding areas.

Anyway, it’s been a very busy summer and I’m looking forward to a busy fall, one with a lot of rain, so I don’t have to remember to water the tomatoes.

A Hot, Hot Day in July – Writing Prompt

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A Hot, Hot Day in July – Writing Prompt

Oh my, it’s going to be a scorcher, again.  The heat reminds me of hot summer days in Ohio where I grew up.  Until I was seven, my grandparents lived downstairs and my cousins lived next door. We didn’t have air conditioning and summers were spent outdoors in the shade of the crab apple tree. While the grownups drank iced coffee and ate watermelon, my cousin Mimi and I would run through the sprinklers and swing on the hammock, only taking a break to eat frozen orange juice popsicles my grandmother made in ice cube trays.  I don’t think we felt the heat much back then. We were too busy being kids and having fun.

At night, when it was too hot to stay in our apartment, my parents would take the 1955 Buick, windows down, wind blowing in our faces, for a ride in the country to see when the corn might be ready at the farm stand. It had to be “as high as an elephant’s eye” before the farmers would pick it, before we could buy it, bring it home, steam it, and slather it with butter and salt.

The best part of July was my birthday. Regardless of the heat, my grandmother would bake my favorite treat–cinnamon buns frosted with a thick, gooey, sweet glaze. After I licked the icing from the pan, my grandfather and I would go outside.  I’d follow him around the yard while he watered the garden, squealing with delight when he missed a plant and watered me instead.

The highlight of my birthday was snowballs. That’s right–snowballs in July.  During the inevitable winter snowstorms, my grandparents would make snowballs and store them in the freezer. At the hottest time of the day, my grandmother would bring them out on a platter and the games would begin. Over the years, we played a snowball version of hot potato, catch, snowball baseball, and snowball tag. And, of course, there was always a snowball dessert, some version of a snow cone, made with maple syrup or strawberry jam.

Today, the temperature is supposed to reach the triple digits.  I don’t live in Ohio any more, but  this afternoon, I plan to make a pot of iced coffee, cut a thick slice of watermelon, turn on the sprinkler,  sit out under the Japanese Maple, and give my cousin Mimi a call to see what she remembers about the hot, hot days of July.

WRITING PROMPT: WRITE ABOUT A HOT SUMMER DAY FROM YOUR CHILDHOOD

Mastering the Art of the Interview

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Mastering the Art of the Interview

A few weeks ago, my friend Hollie, who is a radio broadcaster at KNCO radio 830 AM, asked me if I’d like to fill in as host for the Monday afternoon show, “On The Town–Tell Me Something Good,” which is broadcast from various locations—mostly restaurants and coffee shops. Who wouldn’t want to interview members of the community about positive activities and events taking place around town—and receive a free lunch in exchange? As someone who spends way too much time in front of her computer, the idea of getting out and talking to people is really appealing. Three weeks ago I officially went into training, and last week I conducted my first on-air interview.

Although I am not trained as a radio broadcaster, I do understand the art of the interview. During the two plus decades I spent producing corporate videos, the first step was always information gathering, talking to a wide range of employees—from factory workers to CEOs.  A big part of my job was interviewing non-professional talent—making them comfortable in front of the camera, and asking the right open-ended questions. The answers would reveal pertinent facts and information that could later be edited into a training or promotional program. While I prepared in advance for these interviews, there was no pressure to get it right the first time. It didn’t matter that a CEO might require four or five takes before his statement was the way it needed to be, or that a particular question didn’t prompt the ideal response. In the final edit, everything flowed and looked flawless.

“Tell me Something Good” is a live thirty minute show, something that really hit home moments before conducting my first interview. I didn’t exactly panic, but I was worried. What if I couldn’t think of the right question? Forgot my guests’ names? Didn’t remember when to take a station break? Hollie has been doing the show for so long that she doesn’t do any prep. She books the guests, chats a few minutes before the show begins, jots down a few notes and talks like she’s known them forever. She explained her method, “Just be curious and let the questions come to you.”

Unfortunately, I won’t be booking my own guests until July, so in the meantime, I’ll be following Hollie’s method and hoping for the best. But when I’m doing the show on my own, I’ll want a strategy that makes me feel more secure. It also occurred to me that there might be others—especially article writers and bloggers—who also need to master the art of the interview. So, I did a little research to see if I could come up with a simple approach that would guarantee success.

Here is my 5-step plan for mastering the art of the interview:

  1. Know the guest. Pick someone who is articulate and knowledgeable and passionate about their subject.
  2. Learn about the topic ahead of time. Be able to answer basic questions: who, what, when, where, why and how.
  3. Prepare questions in advance. Ask the guest to provide a list of questions they would like to answer.
  4. Have relevant information on one sheet of paper. Use this information to fill air space and right before station breaks.
  5. Have fun. Keep it light and go with the flow. Let it be okay to make a mistake.

Listen to my first KNCO radio broadcast.

 

How to Write Fast

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How to Write Fast

Recently, I’ve been collaborating on a project with another writer who is amazed at how quickly I crank out new material. “How do you write so fast?” she asked. Because I didn’t realize that my writing speed was faster than anyone else’s, I had to think about how to answer her question. In hindsight, perhaps I do have a few tricks up my sleeve. Good news: It’s easy to learn how to write fast.

Planning is always my first step. Before I write anything, I think about it and develop a strategy. Sometimes, I do this in my head, but for more complex projects I complete a list or make an outline. This approach stems from my days as a corporate scriptwriter and video producer where pre-production planning is built into the process. Because of the cost involved (before everyone and their brother started making videos on their smart phone), no producer would ever proceed without a detailed plan and a budget. If I’m writing something short, like an article or a blog post, it’s so much easier to jot down my thoughts and arrange them in some logical sequence before I begin looking for the right words.  To write fast, you need to plan.

For me, part of the planning process is research—making sure I have more information than I need to write about a particular topic. Google is a lifesaver, but depending on the size of the project, I often take time to read books on the subject or interview experts. Once my brain is filled with information on a particular topic, it’s very easy to get out of my way and let the words flow. To write fast you need to know your subject.

Getting out of the way is something I learned many years ago while videotaping a series of hypnosis training classes. Because the brain is so open to suggestion, it is easy to take a few deep, calm, relaxing breaths and plant a few simple suggestions, like: I write quickly and effortlessly. I complete my writing assignments in record time. I know everything I need to know to quickly write this article. You get the idea. This approach can be even more effective if you also visualize the desired outcome such as seeing a happy client hand you a large check or picturing your novel on the shelves of the major bookstores. To write fast, you need to visualize the desired outcome.

Letting the words flow is really the key to writing fast. Because I have an outline and a lot of information in my head, and I’ve pictured the desired outcome, when I do sit down at the computer to write, I don’t spend time thinking about sentence structure, grammar or whether I have the facts straight. Typically, I bang out a first draft and then go back and clean it up.

Another trick is setting a kitchen timer for five minutes and writing non-stop until it goes off. Try experimenting and see how many words you write in this amount of time. Generally, when I do this, I can produce an average of 250 to 300 words. I also use this technique when I’m looking for a way to begin a story or article. I give myself five minutes to try out opening sentences. When I step out of the way, I’m always amazed at what magically appears on the page.

 

 

Falling off the Blogging Wagon – Writing Fiction

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Falling off the Blogging Wagon – Writing Fiction

Since the beginning of the New Year, I’ve fallen off the blogging wagon. It’s not like I haven’t been writing though, I just haven’t been keeping up with my blog. This morning I woke up at 5:30, and decided it was time to get back into my morning blogging routine, so now, here I sit with my cup of Chai Masala Organic Tulsi tea from India waiting for my muse. How, when I had so much blogging momentum going, did I manage to lose my way?

The trip to Arizona did it. In early February my daughter, who had been struggling with Lyme Disease for the past eight years, called to tell me she was going downhill fast, and I needed to help her find something that would work. By the end of the month, we were in Scottsdale where she started treatment. (Check out www.SundridgeMedical.com). We were there for a month, returning at the end of March, and today her health continues to improve. In fact, she’s going back to school in a couple of weeks and is looking forward to getting her cosmetology license and working in her field. After so many years of being sick, it is such a relief to see her firmly planted on the road to health.

While the outcome of the trip was successful, the change in my routine derailed me. Instead of writing each morning, my daughter and I would put on bathing suits and trot across the road for a hot tub and swim—what a wonderful way to start the day! Because I’m someone who is also in the habit of blogging in the morning, within days, I was adrift. And I’ve been drifting ever since—catching up on bills, organizing taxes, weeding out my closets, planting a spring garden, seeing friends, and writing fiction.

Since completing my memoir, I’ve wanted to write a fictionalized account of my birth mother, Jane, who I never met. I even followed 74 days of writing prompts and blogged about the book I was going to write (see the posts at www.searchingforjane.com). While the prompts didn’t get me to write the book, they did get me to think about it. I picked my characters, outlined a plot, wrote some dialogue and even cranked out a couple of scenes, but I wasn’t serious. About a month ago, I joined a fiction writing group. We meet every other Monday evening and I’m taking the commitment seriously. The members of the group are published authors and I couldn’t ask for better company. Because I feel privileged to be part of this group and have tremendous respect for their feedback, I am motivated to show up with my five pages. It turns out that accountability motivates me.

Having a writing routine does the same thing. It keeps me on track, and forces me to be accountable—even if it’s only to myself. Starting today, I’ve made a commitment to write every morning. I’ll blog at least two mornings a week and spend the other mornings writing scenes for my novel. I know this is only day one, but It feels really good to be back on the wagon.

Unexpected Twists and Turns

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Lyme Disease Treatment

Life. That’s  what happens when you’re making other plans. I was just about to start marketing Write Your Story Workshops when my twenty-four year old daughter called telling me she was feeling bad– again. For the past 8 years she has been dealing with Lyme disease.  Aware that she was bitten by a tick while on a camping trip, she didn’t think much of it and neither did I.

Shortly before her trip she had been in bed with mono so when she never really recovered from the fatigue, the doctor at UC Medical Center in San Francisco, where we went for a consult, said it was simply the Epstein Barr virus.  After a well-intended lecture on the bell shaped curve, the doctor bid us farewell.

My daughter never started feeling better.  Obviously, it wasn’t just the bell shaped curve! Thus began the quest to diagnose an overwhelming number of ailments from stomach pain and depression to joint pain, excessive weight gain and crippling fatigue.  Something was dreadfully wrong, but none of the doctors we saw had an answer—and we saw a number of doctors. One even suggested she take ADD medicine for energy!

Somehow, my daughter persevered. She finished her general education requirements at a community college and went on to enroll as a pre-med student at a 4-year college. Midway through the semester she called and told me she felt like she was dying and I needed to find a doctor who could help her.  In 2009, five years after the tick bite, she received a diagnosis:  Lyme Disease. And thus began a quest for wellness that on two occasions nearly killed her.

Most recently, our journey has taken us to Arizona, where we have finally found a clinic that knows what they’re doing. After  IV antibiotics, hosts of supplements, homeopathics, Rife Machines, and Infrared saunas, mediation, diet plans and everything else under the sun,  It looks like my daughter will finally get her life back.

We’re staying with friends and internet is sketchy at best, which is why I haven’t been able to post on a more regular basis.  Things should be back to normal by April 1—no foolin’.

 

 

 

 

The Power of Affirmations

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The Power of Affirmations

Affirmations — present tense, positive, personal and specific statements — are one of many tools that can help writers accomplish their goals. Over the years, I’ve collected an arsenal of tools and techniques for getting out of my critical left brain and moving over to the holistic and creative right side where ideas flow, unobstructed. Affirmations are one of the easiest tools to use. I write mine on brightly colored sticky notes posted around my computer. Before I write, if I feel like I need a jump-start, I repeat them to myself. Over the years, I’ve added to my list.

For the past two Sundays I’ve held Write YOUR Story Workshops in the town where I live. In addition to sharing my memoir writing techniques with other writers — both new and experienced — the best part of the workshop for me is the end, where people share what they’ve written. I am consistently amazed at the quality of the writing — especially from those who say they haven’t written before. I attribute this to the “free yourself to write” content that is presented during the  first half of the workshop. Affirmations are one my of my favorite tools. During the workshops, I share some of my own, but I’ve been collecting others from recent workshop participants and thought I’d share them with you.

If you want to benefit from affirmations, pick a few that might enhance your writing experience or write your own. Then, repeat or write them several times throughout the day.The theory is that your brain believes and accepts positive statements as the truth.

These 12 affirmations will get you started.

  1. I am an excellent writer.
  2. Words flow from me like water.
  3. I enjoy writing.
  4. I can write any place, any time.
  5. I am paid well for my words.
  6. I write prolifically.
  7. My subconscious mind knows exactly what needs to be written.
  8. People enjoy reading my writing.
  9. I have something to say and others want to hear it.
  10. I move people with my words.
  11. If I can think it, I can write it.
  12. I connecting unexpected things with writing.

If you want to learn more about how and why affirmations work.  Check out the following resources:

  • Think and Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill
  • Rhonda Byrne’s The Secret (also a 2006 film)
  • You Can Heal Your Life by Louise Hay
  • Creative Visualization by Shakti Gawain (This book is a classic!)

Whatever you do….Speak your truth, and write your story!

Motivation is an Inside Job

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Motivation is an Inside Job

Since coming back from vacation, I’ve been struggling with motivation. I’ve been self-employed most of my working life, and staying motivated and getting the job done has always been easy for me. This lack of motivation is new. What worked in the past—creating a master plan, breaking it down into actions, assigning tasks for each day, and just doing it—hasn’t been working. For some reason, it just isn’t happening. I’m hoping that writing about it, can help me figure it out. I’m pretty sure it has to do with my less than stellar marketing efforts.

My business coach has told me numerous times that motivation is an inside job. So, I’ve been looking inside and out to see if I can discover what it is that is thwarting my progress. I went back and reviewed my master plan. My plan was and still is to develop and disseminate workshops that will show people how to write their story (memoir) five minutes at a time. And, I’m doing that. In fact I have a workshop this weekend and another the following weekend. I understand how to reach my local market, but unfortunately, the beautiful place where I live doesn’t have a large enough population to sustain my business.

When I developed the master plan, I initially and erroneously thought I would contact friends around the country and have them “host” a workshop in their living rooms. I’d provide the marketing collateral, send a press release to the local newspaper, and they would hang flyers. However, my attempts to do this in Atlanta, Denver, and Arizona—places where very good friends of mine live—failed. My friends aren’t marketing or sales people and what I was proposing was daunting to them. Realizing this approach wasn’t going to work, occurred shortly before we left on vacation.

Now, I’m on to Plan B—extending my reach to new markets. Instead of following the steps that have worked in the past—break it down into actions, assign tasks for each day, and just do it—I’ve been doing everything else. My house is clean, my laundry is done, and I’ve cooked ahead for the week. I’ve called friends I haven’t talked to in years, met others for tea or lunch, have finished reading several books and I’m in the middle of a few new ones. In other words the marketing I have to do has stopped me dead in my tracks.

So, why is this happening?  Realizing I won’t be teaching my workshop in living rooms across America is part of it, but when I look inside, it seems like it also has to do with some deeply rooted irrational fear of failure coupled with the delusion that “if you build it they will come.” Before people can come, they need to know “it” exists!  In spite of all the work I’ve done to heal and integrate my issues, my wounded inner child, who is driven by fear, is still trying to sabotage my efforts.

In writing this, I’m giving her the attention she craves, feeling her pain, and having compassion for her plight. Writing about this helps me understand what has been going on, and I’m already feeling the fog begin to lift, and my old motivated self re-enter the scene. Once again, my business coach is right—motivation is an inside job.

Writing Prompt: Write About Your Best or Worst Vacation

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La Manzanilla Mexico

My husband and I just returned from a week in La Manzanilla Mexico, a sleepy little village on the Pacific Coast with great beaches, friendly locals, and delicious cuisine. Although this was definitely not our best vacation, and it was far from being the worst, going there was bitter sweet. The initial plan was to join my friend and her husband, and stay at their palapa. Unfortunately, my friend’s husband had to undergo emergency surgery in December, which was followed by complications, and the day we were scheduled to leave, he was still in the hospital. Of course, a day before our departure, my husband came down with the worst cough and cold he had ever had, but he was determined to not let his health further damper our plans. “Are you sure you don’t have the flu?” I asked, thinking this is how epidemics are started. “No, it’s just a cold,” he assured me. I was not convinced. I thought perhaps we were about to embark on our worst vacation ever.

Armed with an arsenal of cough drops, Sudafed, and Kleenex, the next morning, at the ungodly hour of 3:00 a.m., we headed to the airport leaving plenty of time to park the car and catch our 6:00 a.m. flight. For me, the worst part of travel is figuring out how to navigate in a new city, especially when I don’t speak the language well or understand most of what is being said. Although I took four years of Spanish in college, my command of the language is, well, dreadful. In spite of her husband’s poor health, my friend anticipated my trepidation. Her good friend, Julie, met us as soon as we went through customs. She drove us from the Manzanillo airport, gave us a quick tour of La Manzanilla, pointed out the best places to get coffee, delicious meals, and supplies, and deposited us at the front of the palapa.

At this point my husband’s cold hit a crescendo, but he dragged himself down the hill a block so we could eat dinner before he collapsed on the couch. In the morning, in spite of having a runny nose and a cough that sounded like a barking dog, he was feeling good enough to go out and get some coffee and walk through town. And so, our week of tourism began.

Here are the highlights of not the best or worst vacation ever, but definitely a very good one:   very comfortable accommodations and a wonderful view of the ocean—especially at sunset, delicious coffee at two great locations, wonderful tacos everywhere, fresh fish, fantastic beaches, warm water with perfect waves, a Friday market, an art walk, very friendly locals who seemed to understand my Spanish or more likely, my pointing, an abundance of colorful shops and houses, and some amazing views of the town.

Now for the good news: The day we got back, my friend’s husband came home from the hospital and he is slowly improving.

Writing Prompt: Write About Resistance

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 Writing Prompt: Write About Resistance

According to some online dictionaries, resistance is, “The act of opposing or withstanding;”  “A force that tends to oppose or retard motion;” “The refusal to accept or comply with something.” What do you resist? What would your life be like if you embraced it instead? Write about resistance and see what comes up for you.

The other morning I wrote one of my many to-do lists and saw that a few of the items are repeats from previous lists. I’m resisting certain activities, and most of them have to do with marketing my services. For example, I haven’t hung posters or sent the press release about an upcoming workshop. I haven’t contacted the activity directors at the 55+ communities in my area about teaching memoir-writing. Although I did manage to compile an impressive list of contacts at cruise Lines, I have resisted making the calls. I’m not sure what this resistance is all about, but I suspect it’s fear of something–success,  failure, or most likely, rejection. As an adoptee whose core issue is abandonment, it would make sense that fear of rejection is the culprit. Logically, this is ridiculous. Marketing is nothing more than letting people know about my services and seeing if there’s a match.

Resistance is a form of self-sabotage, a destructive and negative pattern that prevents us from doing what we want and having what we need.  I think the trick to eliminating resistance to certain tasks is to pick one or two and simply focus on them until they are accomplished, without giving too much thought to the outcome, without over-thinking it. For instance, today, I will pick up the phone and call one activity director and one cruise ship and see what I can discover about their needs. There. It’s done.

But in some cases resistance is more insidious.

When I think about resistance, I realize it’s been a thread throughout my life. Why else would I hold on to the last 10 pounds, people who no longer serve me, or thoughts and beliefs that no longer work? What would my life be like if I embraced the things I tend to resist? If I avoided the foods that give me the extra padding?  If I spent less time with people who hold me back and more time with individuals who are getting things done? If I shooed away negative thoughts?

If I answer these questions honestly, I arrive at an interesting picture. If I didn’t resist losing the last 10 pounds, my clothes would fit better and I would feel better too. If I didn’t resist calling activity directors, I’d probably have seminars and workshops scheduled for spring and summer. If I didn’t resist calling cruise ships, I’d have my audition behind me, and travel to various port cities in my immediate future. In other words, I’d have what I want.

I’ll save why I get into self-sabotage for another prompt.  For me, this one has been insightful enough. Writing is an excellent  way to notice and make sense of situations that I tend to ignore. What does writing do for you?